Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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