It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
