Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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