So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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