Me. At least after what I've been through.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
