She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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