I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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