I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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