I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
