Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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