seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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