Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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