You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
