i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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