He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am available for nakedness
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
