the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
