i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
