I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
