i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
