I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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