Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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