Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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