That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
