I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Couch. On fire.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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