you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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