but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize