Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
