My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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