i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
