if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
