try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize