miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i out mim tonsoeep
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