she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
