our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
