So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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