i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
