I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
