Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
