see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
