I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
