Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
