Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
