is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
