I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
