I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
