I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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