I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
