actually, I'm a sock model
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
