WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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