we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
