Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
