I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
