let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
