The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
