Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
