what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
