"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
