Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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