hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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