i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
