i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
