i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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