I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
