both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
