He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
